Even when we know the right thing to do in a difficult situation, something can hold us back.

We might freeze, avoid the issue, or respond in a way that makes things worse.

These barriers are known as inhibitors the things that stop us from managing conflict calmly and effectively.

In simple terms, internal inhibitors come from within us (our thoughts, feelings or fears), while external inhibitors come from outside (our environment or other people).

Understanding both helps us recognise what’s getting in the way and what we can do about it.

1. Internal Inhibitors

Internal inhibitors are the personal thoughts or emotions that make us hesitate to act.
They’re often linked to past experiences, confidence levels, or beliefs about conflict itself.

Common internal inhibitors include:

• Fear of rejection or backlash: Worrying that raising an issue will make things worse.

• Low confidence: Doubting our ability to handle confrontation.

• Emotional reactions: Feeling angry, anxious, or embarrassed.

• Personal beliefs: Thinking “It’s not my place to speak up” or “I must always keep the peace.”

• Past experiences: Negative outcomes from previous conflicts making us reluctant to try again.

• Bias or assumptions: Judging others before hearing their side of the story.

These inner barriers can cause us to avoid conflict completely, respond defensively, or say things we later regret.

Tip: Take a breath before reacting. Ask yourself, “What’s really stopping me here: the situation, or how I feel about it?”

2. External Inhibitors

External inhibitors are the outside factors that make it harder to deal with conflict effectively.

They might come from the workplace environment, team culture, or the behaviour of others.

Common external inhibitors include:

• Lack of time or privacy: No suitable space to talk things through properly.

• Power imbalance: One person holds more authority or influence than the other.

• Poor organisational culture: A workplace where people avoid difficult conversations or where conflict is punished rather than resolved.

• Peer pressure: Feeling expected to “take sides” or stay quiet.

• Unclear procedures: Not knowing who to speak to or how to raise an issue.

• External stressors: Deadlines, workload or personal issues making it hard to stay calm and focused.

Tip: Sometimes you can’t remove an external barrier but you can plan around it. Choose the right time, place and approach to give the conversation the best chance of success.

3. Overcoming Inhibitors

The first step in overcoming inhibitors is awareness.
Once you recognise what’s holding you back, you can start to manage it.

Here are some helpful strategies:

• Pause and reflect before reacting a few seconds can make a huge difference.

• Prepare what to say rather than avoiding the issue altogether.

• Use neutral, non-judgemental language to keep emotions in check.

• Seek support from a manager, HR, or a trusted colleague if the situation feels too difficult.

• Focus on solutions, not blame.

Remember: Being calm, respectful and prepared doesn’t mean you’re weak it means you’re in control.

In Summary

Inhibitors are like speed bumps on the road to resolution.

They slow us down and can stop us dealing with conflict in a healthy way.

By recognising whether those barriers are inside us or around us, we can take practical steps to overcome them leading to more confident, constructive conversations.