Supportive conversations are at the heart of effective mental health first aid. They create a safe space for someone to share what they’re going through, feel heard, and begin to explore their next steps. This document offers guidance on how to have compassionate, respectful, and meaningful conversations when someone is struggling with their mental health.

Why Supportive Conversations Matter

• Build trust and reduce isolation
• Provide emotional relief
• Help the individual feel validated and understood
• Open the door to further help and recovery

You don’t need to be a counsellor to make a difference. Often, simply being there and listening well is enough.

Before You Begin

• Choose a quiet, private space if possible
• Switch off distractions (phones, notifications)
• Be fully present – give your full attention
• Let the person take the lead on when and how they want to talk

“I’m here for you if you ever want to chat about how things are going.”

How to Start the Conversation

• Approach with care and openness. Use simple, non-judgemental language:
  • “You’ve seemed a bit down lately – is everything okay?”
  • “I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself. Do you want to talk about it?”
  • “No pressure to share anything, but I’m here if you do.”
• Sometimes it helps to share an observation:
  • “You’ve been really quiet in meetings recently – how are you doing?”

During the Conversation

✅ DO:

• Use active listening: nod, make eye contact, and reflect back what they say
• Ask open questions: “How are you feeling about that?”
• Use empathy, not sympathy: “That sounds really tough – thank you for sharing.”
• Validate their feelings: “It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
• Allow pauses and silence – don’t rush to fill the space

❌ AVOID:

• Giving unsolicited advice: “Have you tried…”
• Minimising their feelings: “It could be worse”
• Making it about you: “That happened to me once…”
• Trying to fix the problem – just focus on listening and support

If You’re Worried About Them

• Gently ask: “Are you feeling safe right now?”
• If you’re concerned about self-harm or suicide, ask directly:
  “Are you thinking about hurting yourself or ending your life?”
• Don’t promise secrecy if they are at risk – explain you may need to get help to keep them safe

Ending the Conversation

• Thank them for trusting you: “I really appreciate you talking to me.”
• Offer next steps: “Would it help to talk to someone like a GP or a counsellor?”
• Agree on follow-up: “Can I check in with you again later this week?”
• Respect their wishes if they don’t want to continue talking, but leave the door open: “You don’t have to go through this alone – I’m here when you need me.”

After the Conversation

• Reflect on how it went and how you feel
• If needed, debrief with a manager or safeguarding lead (confidentially and appropriately)
• Look after your own wellbeing

Supporting others is meaningful work – take care of yourself too.  Supportive conversations don’t need to be perfect. They just need to be real, compassionate, and grounded in listening. Often, the act of showing up and holding space is more powerful than any advice you could give.

Trust, patience, and empathy go a long way.