When supporting someone with their mental health, asking the right kind of questions at the right time can make all the difference. Thoughtful questions help build trust, encourage reflection, and open up conversation – but it’s just as important to know when to ask open questions and when closed questions are more appropriate.

Why the Type of Question Matters

The way you phrase a question affects how comfortable someone feels sharing. In mental health conversations, the goal is to:

• Create a safe, non-judgemental space
• Encourage the person to talk at their own pace
• Avoid overwhelming or interrogating them
• Gather enough information to offer support or signposting

Open Questions – To Explore and Understand

Open questions invite longer, more thoughtful responses. They can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” These questions help someone open up, share their feelings, and explore their thoughts.

Use open questions when:

• You’re building trust and rapport
• Encouraging someone to talk about their feelings
• Exploring what’s been going on for them
• Trying to understand their experience in more depth

Examples of open questions:

• “How have things been for you lately?”
• “What’s been on your mind recently?”
• “How are you coping with everything?”
• “Can you tell me more about that?”
• “What would you find helpful right now?”

💡 Open questions are especially useful early in a conversation when someone needs space to express themselves.

Closed Questions – To Clarify and Check Safety

Closed questions usually get a short, specific answer, like “yes,” “no,” or a fact. While they’re more limited, they’re still valuable – particularly when you need to clarify information, assess risk, or guide the conversation.

Use closed questions when:

• You need to check specific facts (e.g. eating, sleeping, support)
• You’re short on time but still want to check in
• Assessing risk (e.g. self-harm or suicidal thoughts)
• The person is overwhelmed and can’t manage a long conversation

Examples of closed questions:

• “Have you been sleeping okay?”
• “Are you currently seeing anyone for support?”
• “Have you felt like harming yourself?”
• “Do you feel safe right now?”
  “Would you like me to stay with you or give you some space?”

💡 Closed questions are best used thoughtfully – too many can feel like an interrogation.

Balancing Both: A Practical Approach

The best conversations usually involve a mix of open and closed questions – depending on the person’s emotional state, the context, and what they need in that moment.

Example Flow:

1. Open question: “How have you been feeling lately?”
2. Reflect: “It sounds like you’ve been under a lot of pressure.”
3. Clarify with a closed question: “Have you spoken to anyone else about this?”
4. Assess risk (if needed): “Are you feeling safe at the moment?”

💡 Start wide, then gently narrow if needed – always following the person’s lead.

Helpful Tips for Asking Questions

• Use a calm, gentle tone: your voice matters as much as your words
• Avoid rapid-fire questions: give time to respond
• Be okay with pauses: silence often allows deeper answers to surface
• Respect boundaries: don’t push if someone isn’t ready to share
• Follow their cues: if they open up, stay with their pace and feelings

Good questions build connection. They show that you care, that you’re listening, and that you’re not trying to “fix” someone – just walk alongside them.

You don’t need all the answers. But knowing how to ask the right questions can create a space where someone feels seen, heard, and supported – and that’s where real change begins.